Sharing Is Caring

Share #1 - I took Luigi for his blood test this morning. They just called back with the results. 30,000 last week. 43,000 today. WooT WooT — I’m so happy!!

Share #2 - A link to the most hilarious thing I’ve read in a long time. This blog post set me off laughing and earned me quite a few puzzled looks from the family. What’s Your Last Name from The (After) Life of the Party (Formerly known as Life In The L O)

Share #3 - A story for you. One much like the one you hopefully just read. Harmony’s story is much funnier that mine. So if you choose to read only one, go read hers.  =D

On the way back from a baby shower, my mom, grandma, aunt and I stopped at a rest area. We’d been in the car for 2 hours and were all ready to stretch our legs.

We all headed into the bathroom to do our thang… The stalls were all full and the 4 of us had to wait our turns. One by one, we all went in and came out. All but my aunt who was taking forever.

Grandma left and went to walk around outside while Mom & I washed our hands and waited on the slow poke. Grandma came in a couple minutes later and was quite irritated at having to wait so long. She proceeded to yell out to my aunt, “Good grief!!!!  What crawled up your butt and died?!?  Hurry up!  We’re all waiting on you. I hope you didn’t die in there. OMG what a smell!!! … We’ll be in the car waiting.”

The three of us headed out to the car and… guess who was outside sittin’ on the curb smoking a ciggarette? No really… guess.

Bahahaaa…….  I miss my grandma. She was a riot!!!

Anatomy of a Meltdown

A tantrum is like a snowflake. Every one is different and both can change your day’s plans, leaving you to question why you made plans in the first place.

However, I have been studying the inner workings of tantrums and believe I have identified about 95% of them correctly. (This result has a 95% margin of error.)

Please note: neither the subject nor the researcher were harmed during the course of this experiment. Safety goggles were utilized.

The hot flash: As soon as you tell her “no” to a request, spoken, grunted or pointed, she takes a face plant or a back dive to the floor without warning, trying to make contact with something on the way down so her cries of pain and frustration will increase to an almost banshee level.

To read our Post of the Week in its entirety, please visit Sprite’s Keeper — Home of The Spin Cycle.

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You Don’t Know What You’ve Got Til it Almost Gets Chopped Off by Flying Wood

PigHunter has this “cabinet” that he’s been working on for his “tools” in the garage. He’s been building this “cabinet” for about a year. I have come to believe this is something he does to get out of having to do any kind of housework (”I can’t help with the laundry because I’m building my cabinet! For my tools! So I have room to do things in the garage, like, build imaginary cabinets!”)

I used to get pissed off about his stupid cabinet. Especially when he’d be like “I’m going to plant grass this weekend!” And hours would go by and grass wasn’t planted because he’d wasted hours in the garage “cutting wood” for his “cabinet.” But, I’ve come to accept the “cabinet” for what it really is.

His escape.

I have the computer. He has “the cabinet.” We’re even.

Last Friday night, he was in the garage working on “the cabinet” for most of the night. Just before 8, I heard him walk into the house. He walked into the kitchen and stood there. He looked a little pale, so I was all “You okay?” And he was all “yeah, I’m fine.”

So I dropped it.

Later that night, we were sitting on the couch and he turns to me and says “Honey, please don’t freak out. But…”

Read the rest of our Post of the Week at Joy Unexpected
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Mush Mouth

From Heather at Riding The Short Bus

Diaper changes are a great time to do inspections for new teeth, since you get a fairly good angle at the upper gum area and you can take a visual inventory without shoving your fingers into a protesting little mouth. So when Claire flipped her head back for a squeeeee, I leaned forward to see if I could get a peek at any new teeth that might have appeared during the last few days without me.

Only what I saw, stopped my heart. Cold.

Omigod, omigod, omigodomigodomigodomigod……………….

I tried not to look, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. It was horrible.

Read the entire post at Riding The Short Bus
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The Bean

What if…

What if I had never subscribed to Maggie, Dammit’s blog?  What if I hadn’t gone back to see what her visitors had to say?  What if that one comment hadn’t jumped out at me and made me belly laugh?  What if I never clicked on the visitor’s link and discovered the world of The Bean?

It’s sad to know that I would’ve missed the tears that streamed down my face when I laughed so hard from reading Achoo. It also sucks to realize that I would have missed out on not only the post itself, but the comments left by Beej’s visitors.

If you ask me (and yes, I am painfully aware that no one has), it’s the SNEEZER who should be required to say something, like “Excuse me” or “Pardon me” or “Sorry I snotted on you.” The SNEEZEE shouldn’t be obligated to say anything except maybe “Gross! You just snotted on me!” possibly followed by some retching sounds.

What if I hadn’t laughed so hard at that blog post? Would I have moved on to another blog? Would I have ever known that Beej’s husband is a superhero who ruined Sam Elliott’s life? Would I ever have been reassured that I am not in fact, the clumsiest person in the world?

What if I had found Beej’s blog months ago? What if I had subscribed to The Bean and I had jumped over to her site when she posted The Mystery of the Desk Booger? Would I have figured out what the desk booger really was? Would I have won the prize?

Sure seemed like a typical Thursday morning. But then I looked down at my desk and immediately recoiled, shouting “Eeeww! Desk booger!” And then I ran away.

After a few minutes of hiding in the break room I thought to myself, “Self, that thing was really big, and really WHITE, and it might not have been an actual booger. It might be something else, and you can’t sit here in the break room all day hiding from it. Even if it WAS a booger you still have to come to terms with it and get to work.” So I went back to my desk to investigate and take pictures.

What if I had never discovered that it’s okay to have a post with only 20 words and it is acceptable to conclude said post with a 1,208 word footnote?

What if Beej didn’t have 14 pages of archives when I decided I needed to read each and every single post she’d written? Would I have stayed up until 4am reading, knowing full well that I had to get up at 6? Would I have done dishes today instead of reading? Would I have remembered it was lunch time without my children reminding me that they were going to die of starvation?

What if you don’t like cursing. Or sarcasm. Or things that are Awesome? Then you most definitely will not love The Bean as much as I do and you should totally not subscribe to her feed.

What if Sprite’s Keeper hadn’t decided that this week’s Spin Cycle should be “What If…”?

Life Is A Cookie

Do you ever get sick of hearing the exact same news stories all day, everyday? Have you ever wondered what else is happening out there in that great big world other than what the news channels are talking about? Then I’ve got a great blog for you!

Life Is A Cookie has become my favorite source of news. While the reporting may not be quotable, especially not to your mother, the author will definitely get a laugh out of you. Everything about this blog is worth reading. From the story to the commentary, the pictures to the comments, there is no shortage of entertainment.

The owner of Life Is A Cookie pulls no punches! She has opinions and she’s not afraid to put them in writing. Her readers aren’t afraid to voice their opinions either. Though the discussions in the comments may go slightly off-track and in directions that could make a trucker blush, one thing is made very obvious. Humor can be found in almost any situation.

Visit Life Is A Cookie | Feed on Cookie

Because Christmas Is About Winning

From Y at Joy Unexpected

I try to maintain my civility while out shopping. Especially in the days just before Christmas, when stores are filled with all of God’s Children who are so very full of love, joy, peace and patience. Even if I’m pissed off in the depths of my soul, I will smile and bite my tongue when you roll my foot over with your cart because you’re in a hurry and can’t be bothered to slow down OR say “sorry”. But at some point every year, as hard as I try to nice in the face of the jerks all around me, my Asshole Tolerance Level is pushed to the absolute max and I’ll lose it. That doesn’t mean I go crazy and start cutting people, it just means I’ll stop smiling and quite possibly ask you to BACK YOUR CART UP OFF OF MY TOES, YOU INCONSIDERATE DICK.

Last night at Target, I had HAD IT.

Read the rest of Y’s LMAO post at Joy Unexpected
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Every Picture Tells A Story

Anna tells us of the emoticons we all really need, like a can of Vaseline or pantyliners (regular for PC, thong for MAC). It was funny enough to make me laugh out loud. –Submitted by The Cowboy Chronicles

Read the full LMAO post at Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder

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Still Alive

Excerpt from Still Alive at My Very Last Nerve

…Saturday, I still had some shopping to finish, so I loaded up the kids and headed out to the nightmare that is the mall on the Saturday before Christmas. What I thought would be a quick trip ended up being an all day marathon of one of my least favorite activities: Shopping with Kids. We ended up making a last stop at Burlington on the way home, where I discovered The World’s Biggest Asshole of a Sales Associate.

First off, she was slow. Reeeeeaaaalllllyyyyy sloooooooooow. I stood there contemplating changing lines, but I talked myself out of it, because you know how that goes – changes lines then that one is slow. So I watched (no exaggeration) two and three and six people go through the other lines while she was still checking out the ONE woman in front of me. Then, I had a gift in my cart for each kid that I managed to keep them from seeing. So when I got to checkout, I told the boy to take his sister and wait in the chairs a little way away so she wouldn’t see (he knew about hers but not his). As TWBASA was taking forever to take things off hangers and prep them for ringing up, she picked up the shirt I had for the boy. She was waving it around and holding it up, so…

Read Full Post at My Very Last Nerve

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Wiping Up Snot

Submitted by Anonymous

One of my favorite authors is Karly from Wiping Up Snot. Karly lets us peak into her life through her incredible writing and her pictures. Her blog is so entertaining that even the comments are worth reading. I’m submitting to you one of my favorite posts so you can see just how funny she is.

The post is called Mutha Of The Year

Last night we ate dinner pretty late and by the time we were finished it was dark out. Eeyore wanted to go back over to the neighbor kid’s house to play, so I told him to go ahead, but be careful in the dark.

He looked out the door and said it was so dark he couldn’t see ANYTHING. I walked to the door with him and told him that I would stand at the door and watch him while he walked across the street.

“Uh, Mom? How will that help?”

“Well, I dunno. Why are you worried about the dark? Are you scared?”

“…Yeah…”

“Well, then, it will help because I’ll be watching at the door and if I see anything scary chasing you then I can yell for you to run faster!”

At that point my husband intervened and got the boy a flashlight. I’ve never heard of a flashlight that shouted at you to run faster if it saw scary monsters though, so I think my plan was more helpful.

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