Sharing Is Caring

Share #1 - I took Luigi for his blood test this morning. They just called back with the results. 30,000 last week. 43,000 today. WooT WooT — I’m so happy!!

Share #2 - A link to the most hilarious thing I’ve read in a long time. This blog post set me off laughing and earned me quite a few puzzled looks from the family. What’s Your Last Name from The (After) Life of the Party (Formerly known as Life In The L O)

Share #3 - A story for you. One much like the one you hopefully just read. Harmony’s story is much funnier that mine. So if you choose to read only one, go read hers.  =D

On the way back from a baby shower, my mom, grandma, aunt and I stopped at a rest area. We’d been in the car for 2 hours and were all ready to stretch our legs.

We all headed into the bathroom to do our thang… The stalls were all full and the 4 of us had to wait our turns. One by one, we all went in and came out. All but my aunt who was taking forever.

Grandma left and went to walk around outside while Mom & I washed our hands and waited on the slow poke. Grandma came in a couple minutes later and was quite irritated at having to wait so long. She proceeded to yell out to my aunt, “Good grief!!!!  What crawled up your butt and died?!?  Hurry up!  We’re all waiting on you. I hope you didn’t die in there. OMG what a smell!!! … We’ll be in the car waiting.”

The three of us headed out to the car and… guess who was outside sittin’ on the curb smoking a ciggarette? No really… guess.

Bahahaaa…….  I miss my grandma. She was a riot!!!

Help Me Help Ya’ll

See those 4 blog ads over in the right column? The ones above the Google box? Well, that’s my way of helping out some of the bloggers I like. Those are only 4 of my ads. They’re set on a rotator and each time you load a new page, you get to see a different set of links. And hopefully, you (and other visitors) occasionally click on those links and check out bloggers you haven’t seen before.

Now, I know that my wee little ads aren’t making the bloggers rich. They might not even be helping them gain subscribers or get more comments on their posts. But, I feel like it’s my little contribution and my way of saying thank you for entertaining me and sharing your life with me.

Last night, I realized that I’d really fallen behind on my duties. I realized how many bloggers were out there that I really liked, but I hadn’t added to the rotator yet. Shame on me!! Shame Shame I say.

So…. I added some new links. But guess what!! Some of the people I wanted to add didn’t have little images. Ugh. Come on people!! I need pictures. How the heck am I going to link to you without a picture? Huh Huh??? Tell me. Come on…… I’m waaaaaaaaiting…..

I do actually send out some traffic believe it or not. By my count, I send out an average of 3 clicks per ad, per day. That’s not bad really for a little ol’ blog like mine IMO.

Wanna see? Do Ya?? Okay, here’s my proof. Here’s a screen shot of the clicks I’ve sent out from the ads over there. This was taken just before I added He Blogs She Blogs, Petra, Putnam, Stacie & Texan Mama last night. Notice how I put those in ABC order? LOL I’m slick like that. That way you don’t think I’m playing favorites.

Also, the counts are actually higher. But I got bored one day and decided to reset the stats. LOL Boredom+Chris=Not Good.

Anyways, here’s the screen shot.

Now… I need your help. I need more images to put over there. Here’s the list I’ve made of the people I’d like to have links from. AND!!!!!!! I may’ve somehow left you out!!! So if I did please tell me!! If I comment on your blog or if you comment here, hollah!!! Seriously!!! Don’t feel silly about requesting a link out. And if you feel weird about requesting it in the comments, then send me an email. I’m chris [at] textimps [dot] com.

Here’s my list of people I need images from. And, feel free to stop at their blog and pester them for me until I get my image!!!!!!!! Also, if you need an image made, let me know. I’ll see what I can do.

488 Miles Away
A Day In The Life Of
Allyson Lyon Photography
Barbara’s 365
Confessions of a Desperate Housewife
Life In The L O
My Very Last Nerve
Poop On Jelly
Raising Stink
Riding The Short Bus
Us And Them

By the way, while you’re over there pestering Captain Dumbass at Us & Them, check out his awards. I swear that man gets the most hilarious awards!

Outting The Powerful

I deal with ads a lot in my business. I do lots of research on affiliate links and ad programs. It’s mainly for the articles* that I write. And one day I’ll put that research to good use & make some money. LOL

But… in my research, I’ve found that some ad programs are very strict about how you’re allowed to advertise. Others have the “Yeah, whatever, just bring us some money” opinion. Personally, I like the yeah whatever-ers.

Last night, I came across a post that made me go “holy cow!!!” It was about blog ads and a particularly powerful, well known, you’re a nobody if you’re not part of it company. (That’s not how I personally see the company but, 1,000’s of other bloggers do.)

I’m all about outting the big wigs and thought I might just go ahead and share that particular post with you today. But then, the author of the post showed up and was all “you can link to me” So I was all “hey, don’t be conceited and try to snag away my 3,000 subscribers” and she was all “kiss my butt” and I was all……….

LOL — Sooooo kidding. Forgive me. I’m in one of those moods.

Anyways… ya’ll should go read this post! Even if you’ve never put an ad on a website or blog before, you should read it. You’ll be seriously surprised by what you find. It’s right….. over there *points* In the Trenches of Mommyhood.

* Sidenote: Yes, I write articles. Yes, for money. No, I don’t ramble on and on like I do in my blog posts. I’m actually quite informative. You’d be proud. =D (Anyone need a ghostwriter? giggles)

Mush Mouth

From Heather at Riding The Short Bus

Diaper changes are a great time to do inspections for new teeth, since you get a fairly good angle at the upper gum area and you can take a visual inventory without shoving your fingers into a protesting little mouth. So when Claire flipped her head back for a squeeeee, I leaned forward to see if I could get a peek at any new teeth that might have appeared during the last few days without me.

Only what I saw, stopped my heart. Cold.

Omigod, omigod, omigodomigodomigodomigod……………….

I tried not to look, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. It was horrible.

Read the entire post at Riding The Short Bus
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Because Christmas Is About Winning

From Y at Joy Unexpected

I try to maintain my civility while out shopping. Especially in the days just before Christmas, when stores are filled with all of God’s Children who are so very full of love, joy, peace and patience. Even if I’m pissed off in the depths of my soul, I will smile and bite my tongue when you roll my foot over with your cart because you’re in a hurry and can’t be bothered to slow down OR say “sorry”. But at some point every year, as hard as I try to nice in the face of the jerks all around me, my Asshole Tolerance Level is pushed to the absolute max and I’ll lose it. That doesn’t mean I go crazy and start cutting people, it just means I’ll stop smiling and quite possibly ask you to BACK YOUR CART UP OFF OF MY TOES, YOU INCONSIDERATE DICK.

Last night at Target, I had HAD IT.

Read the rest of Y’s LMAO post at Joy Unexpected
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Every Picture Tells A Story

Anna tells us of the emoticons we all really need, like a can of Vaseline or pantyliners (regular for PC, thong for MAC). It was funny enough to make me laugh out loud. –Submitted by The Cowboy Chronicles

Read the full LMAO post at Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder

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Nobody’s Perfect, Except our Newborns

Excerpt from Nobody’s Perfect, Except our Newborns at Who Put Me In Charge of These People

I was filled with fears about being the perfect mother to this child. Like any mother, I feared her getting sick, I feared being in a car accident with her, I feared losing her somehow. I understood these fears but felt like they were somewhat out of my control. But my biggest fear of all was that I would harm her while actually trying to help her. Like, giving her medicine but mistakenly giving the wrong dosage. Or giving her food that caused her to choke, or have an allergic reaction. Or even insisting that I would breastfeed even after noticing that she wasn’t gaining weight….

…So, how did I get through it without losing my mind? Well I did it in the only way that I could…

Read Full Blog Post at Who Put Me In Charge of These People

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Still Alive

Excerpt from Still Alive at My Very Last Nerve

…Saturday, I still had some shopping to finish, so I loaded up the kids and headed out to the nightmare that is the mall on the Saturday before Christmas. What I thought would be a quick trip ended up being an all day marathon of one of my least favorite activities: Shopping with Kids. We ended up making a last stop at Burlington on the way home, where I discovered The World’s Biggest Asshole of a Sales Associate.

First off, she was slow. Reeeeeaaaalllllyyyyy sloooooooooow. I stood there contemplating changing lines, but I talked myself out of it, because you know how that goes – changes lines then that one is slow. So I watched (no exaggeration) two and three and six people go through the other lines while she was still checking out the ONE woman in front of me. Then, I had a gift in my cart for each kid that I managed to keep them from seeing. So when I got to checkout, I told the boy to take his sister and wait in the chairs a little way away so she wouldn’t see (he knew about hers but not his). As TWBASA was taking forever to take things off hangers and prep them for ringing up, she picked up the shirt I had for the boy. She was waving it around and holding it up, so…

Read Full Post at My Very Last Nerve

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Because It Had To Go Down This Way

Today I had the pleasure of going to the DMV to get that long lost driver’s license replaced. Good times.

I got there, stood in the longest line seen by mankind since food rationing and patiently awaited my turn in front of a woman who was speaking on her cell phone VERY LOUDLY. She was trying to explain where she was and why she was there. Sample: “I AM AT THE DMV GETTING A NEW DRIVERS LICENSE BECAUSE MINE EXPIRED.” Pause. “AT THE DMV.” Pause. “TO GET MY DRIVERS LICENSE.” Pause. “BECAUSE I NEED A NEW ONE.” I am basically a nice person (despite what you may think) so I assumed she was speaking via a bad connection or to someone who was hearing impaired. I was wrong. “WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT PARTY SATURDAY? I WAS DRUNK OFF MY ASS!!!” Okay, that theory is out the window…she was just a loud talker, and she was less than a foot from my ear. And it hurt my head….a lot. Also? She smelled like she had left that party only moments before, so I was gagging as well.

Read full blog post at The Stilleto Mom.com

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Pick Up Lines That Just Don’t Work

Today, I’ve decided to pass along some friendly advice to my single male friends. I’m an old married guy, but I remember what works and what doesn’t out there. And, trust me, the following lines simply do not work.

Repeat, do not employ these lines if you want to have any hope of picking up that girl (or guy; doesn’t matter to me).

In no particular order, here we go:

1. My crotch fungus is practically gone!

Read full post at Supercynic’s Weblog

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