Anatomy of a Meltdown

A tantrum is like a snowflake. Every one is different and both can change your day’s plans, leaving you to question why you made plans in the first place.

However, I have been studying the inner workings of tantrums and believe I have identified about 95% of them correctly. (This result has a 95% margin of error.)

Please note: neither the subject nor the researcher were harmed during the course of this experiment. Safety goggles were utilized.

The hot flash: As soon as you tell her “no” to a request, spoken, grunted or pointed, she takes a face plant or a back dive to the floor without warning, trying to make contact with something on the way down so her cries of pain and frustration will increase to an almost banshee level.

To read our Post of the Week in its entirety, please visit Sprite’s Keeper — Home of The Spin Cycle.

Subscribe to Jen’s Feed –> Atom | RSS 1.0 | RSS 2.0

Breasts

Breasts! was written by Gina at My Very Last Nerve.  I’m not going to offer any excerpts this week.  I’m just going to ask that you go read it in its entirety.

Read “Breasts!”
Visit My Very Last Nerve
Subscribe to My Very Last Nerve’s Feed

You Don’t Know What You’ve Got Til it Almost Gets Chopped Off by Flying Wood

PigHunter has this “cabinet” that he’s been working on for his “tools” in the garage. He’s been building this “cabinet” for about a year. I have come to believe this is something he does to get out of having to do any kind of housework (”I can’t help with the laundry because I’m building my cabinet! For my tools! So I have room to do things in the garage, like, build imaginary cabinets!”)

I used to get pissed off about his stupid cabinet. Especially when he’d be like “I’m going to plant grass this weekend!” And hours would go by and grass wasn’t planted because he’d wasted hours in the garage “cutting wood” for his “cabinet.” But, I’ve come to accept the “cabinet” for what it really is.

His escape.

I have the computer. He has “the cabinet.” We’re even.

Last Friday night, he was in the garage working on “the cabinet” for most of the night. Just before 8, I heard him walk into the house. He walked into the kitchen and stood there. He looked a little pale, so I was all “You okay?” And he was all “yeah, I’m fine.”

So I dropped it.

Later that night, we were sitting on the couch and he turns to me and says “Honey, please don’t freak out. But…”

Read the rest of our Post of the Week at Joy Unexpected
Subscribe to Joy Unexpected

Ode To Hubby

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”  How many times have you uttered those words?  How many times did you wish they were actually true?

Chances are, that if you’re a blog reader, you understand that words can have a huge impact on a person’s life.  Whether those words are written for a general audience or spoken straight to your face, they can change the way you perceive your surroundings, your life and even yourself as an individual.

Even though we understand the impact that a simple sentence can have on us, often times we fail to realize that we too are capable of changing the lives of others.

Our Post of the Week comes from Sarah at In the Trenches of Mommyhood.  This tearjerker was written in honor of her husband.

Our 7-year old has learned an important lesson.

He learned that a child can, indeed, hurt a parent’s feelings.

Yesterday afternoon, Hubby and Eldest, Nike bat bag and baseball gloves in hand, excitedly headed to the indoor batting cages in town…even though there’s a foot of snow on the ground and spring in New England seems eons away…

They were gone for about an hour. But when they returned to the Trenches, both trudged dejectedly in the back door, heads down, eyes lowered.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, knowing that something must have happened.

Hubby answered tersely, “Ask your son” and left the room.

Read Ode To Hubby in its entirety
Visit In the Trenches of Mommyhood
Subscribe to Trenches’ Feed

If You’re Nuts, You’re Squirrel Bait

Do you ever find yourself reading a post and thinking “That’s just wrong.  Wrong and borderline crazy.”?  Is your next thought somewhere along the lines of “My thirst for insane comedy has not been quenched and I hope he writes more stories like this soon”?  I hope you answered yes to those questions because that’s what I’m handing you for our Post of the Week.

Like last week, you lucky readers are getting a trilogy. The story comes from the creative mind of cIII at the Goat and Tater. It revolves around two ambitious squirrels.  And let me tell you, Alvin, Simon & Theodore aint got nothin’ on these two little foul mouthed critters.

These three posts are just a small look into cIII’s “silly” side.  He often writes posts that are far deeper in meaning.  He really is a magnificent author and you can expect to see more of cIII here at Text Imps.  But don’t wait around for us to feature him again.  Go ahead and subscribe to his feed so you don’t miss out.

Part 1 - Panic amongst Wet Leaves
Part 2 - The Saga Continues
Part 3 - Representation

Visit the Goat and Tater
Subscribe to cIII’s Atom Feed or RSS Feed or you can Follow Him here

Deodorant Wars

Boy do we have something special for you this week ladies and gentlemen!!  This week we are featuring not one, but three posts.  Three posts dedicated to a comical, heart wrenching and sometimes brutally violent story.  Three posts that prove that sometimes we bloggers have far too much time on our hands.

I must warn you not to read these posts at work if you have a tendency to break out in hysterical laughter.  We will not be held responsible for your loss of a job or any pain or injuries sustained.  Also, please refrain from reading until a later time if you have small children or grouchy spouses sleeping in the nearby vicinity.  Again, we cannot be held responsible for your outbursts or any actions stemming from said outbursts.

So now, for your viewing pleasure, we present to you Part One, Part Two and Part Three of “The Battle for the Hearts & Armpits of America” by Amalah

Visit Amalah
Subscribe to Amalah’s Feed

Green Can Suck It

Cameron is the only person to publish a blog with the words “Mother Nature is a punk bitch”.  Don’t believe me?  Go Google the phrase. Yes, there is a second search result, but that’s taken from a comment by Steenky Bee (A+ writer) at Us and Them (A+ blog)  My point here, I swear I have one, is that Cameron blogs about subjects that most of us would never think to write about.

Take for example his post entitled Would you, could you, in a deep fryer? In this particular post, Cameron asks the simple question “Can you deep fry a fart?”  Seems like an appropriate question considering the title of his blog is Get The Stink Off.

In a recent post, Cameron was kind enough to explain exactly why he referred to Mother Nature as a punk bitch by taking us on a trip through a grocery store.  Grab a shopping cart and come along, wont you?

Read Green Can Suck It
Subscribe to Get The Stink Off

That Day from Okay Fine Dammit

Recently I read a post that I cannot get out of my head.  The story was written by Maggie, the owner of a blog known as Okay Fine Dammit.

Although her post was written almost a year ago and the event itself took place in the early 90’s, you will feel as though you are there with Maggie, living through the unthinkable series of events. Goosebumps will cover your body. You will have a knot in your stomach. A lump will rise in your throat and your heart will ache.

Maggie’s heartbreaking story will make you appreciate life more.  You will want to live each day to the fullest.

I recommend that you skip the excerpts and go straight to Maggie’s post, which is simply entitled The Day.

…… I remember watching the dog in the side view mirror as we drove, marveling at the way her smile ballooned with the wind. It seemed she didn’t want to miss a single breath…

I take solace in the peace I’m sure she felt in her last moments on this earth…

It’s possible my best friend was driving too fast, I don’t recall. In those days we all drove too fast…

Watching the world reduce itself to a pinprick of light as we spun and spun and spun. A profound feeling of peace, and the singular thought, “Oh. This isn’t so bad.”

Read Maggie’s story in its entirety
Visit Okay Fine Dammit
Subscribe to Maggie’s Feed

Comic Jeanius

This week’s Post of the Week comes from Julie at A Little Pregnant.com A couple of months ago, Julie offered her readers the chance to win a pair of Joe’s Jeans. Readers were asked to submit their best story about pants in order to be entered in the giveaway. Julie then picked her favorites and shared them with us. She had a hard time choosing a winner and after you read the collection of pants mishaps, you’ll understand why.

Here’s a small taste of the hilarity you’ll encounter when you read the full post.

From the very friendly stellasmom:

Maybe my very first date, I was cluelessly naive but already very in love with chocolate. My date, with dreamy Andy Gibb feathered hair, took me to a movie and bought us two candy bars on the way in — I remember one was a Baby Ruth. We’re watching the movie and he hasn’t handed out the candy. I thought I’d give a hint — so I searched a bit and found what I thought was the candy bar in his right front pocket. I kept trying to get it out — my hints getting less and less subtle. My date thinking I was WONDERFUL! Finally, I stuck my hand in that right front pocket and realized it was no candy bar. In terror I snatched my hand away and of course the date had no clue why I was so hot and cold. Sigh. I wouldn’t return to 7th grade for anything.

Get your laugh on by reading the full post

Subscribe to A Little Pregnant’s Feed

Doctor, doctor!

Submitted by MommyCity

Monday was a holiday, which meant no preschool.

Ack!

I woke up very, very tired. The day stretched out before me, rainy and long.

How do I keep this 4-year old boy entertained with a minimum of effort?

We started off the day with some coloring, and then moved on to puzzles. But after an hour, CJ was ready for something else.

I was ready to lie down.

And then genius struck.

“I know! Let’s play doctor! I’ll lie on the bed, and you can take care of me.”

I am BRILLIANT.

CJ’s eyes lit up at my excellent idea. I snuggled into my cozy bed, while he ran to his room to pull out his doctor box.

Read the rest of the post at Absolutely Bananas

Subscribe to Absolutely Bananas’ Feed

Next Page »