Wow!! No Way!!

As many of you already know, I drive a hearse.  For those of you who didn’t know… Hey, guess what. I drive a hearse.  =D

Today, I took a trip to Walmart to stock up on groceries. Apparently there’s some law that says you gotta feed your kids every day or something like that.  Plus, I was out of chocolate. So this trip was definitely more business than pleasure, as most of my Walmart trips are.

Speaking of Walmart & grocery shopping, I forgot to call the store and complain today. I’m so sick of them not stocking Cherry Coke in cases.  A case is $6 and a 12-pack is $5. Come on people. Either sell cases or change the price of a 12-pack.

BTW, I know why they don’t have cases. It’s because if you put a case of Coke on the belt and a case of Cherry Coke on the belt, the cashiers give you dirty looks and say “I only need 1 case if it’s from the same company.”  So you put your Cherry Coke back and they ring up regular Coke x 3 and then their counts are off and they think no one drinks it, so they don’t order more.  *ahem*  Morons….

So anyways…. back to what I was saying…. I went to Walmart and when I came out and started walking towards my car, I was stopped dead in my tracks.  I looked at my hearse and said “You gotta be kidding me!  Look at this crap!!  No freakin way!!!”

And yes…. I spoke those words aloud. As did many of the other people who got out of their cars and looked in the direction of mine.  Why??  Here.. I’ll show you…

Yes!!! Parked right next to my hearse…. was another hearse!!!  Tell me that’s not just awesome!!

So I quickly pushed my cart over to my car and ran around it and started peeking in the windows. As a fellow hearse owner, I felt it was my right to do so.  =D

I headed back over to my car and started throwing my groceries in. I was in a hurry because I wanted to make sure I could take pictures before the owner came out and left.  I figured whoever owned it wouldn’t mind me taking pictures. I mean, he obviously parked beside me for a reason. I know I would’ve parked next to him!!  I’m sure he would’ve hung around and allowed me the opportunity, but I wanted to be 100% sure I got my chance.

As I was heaving everything into my car, I noticed a man walking out of the store. Just looking at him I thought “Oh, this is the owner. It’s gotta be.”  He reminded me a little of Rob Zombie to be quite honest.

As he got closer and closer, his smile grew wider and I was sure he was the owner.  He shook my hand and introduced himself and from then on I felt like I’d known him all of my life. He told me about his wife and invited me and my family to his house to check out his other cars and his Harleys.  I have a HUGE thing for Harleys. I even have a dog named Harley.  =D  I was totally stoked!  He even invited us to a cookout.

He told me a little about his car and explained the hit & run accident that caused the dent in the backdoor but I was too busy staring at the skulls to even notice the dent.

Then he offered to open the backdoor so I could take a picture of his coffin. At that point I had to confess that I knew it was back there because I had to peek inside. LOL

I asked him if he rollers still work and he said yes, they do.  I asked if he has problems with cases of Coke flying to the back of the car. He said yes, he does.  LMBO!!!

We exchanged phone numbers and he headed back inside to find his wife.  I headed off across the parking lot to take another picture.

** You can ignore this part. I’m putting a couple keywords here so that if the owner or anyone who knows the owner ever decides to search for me or a post like this… it’ll be easy to find me. 1990 hearse Rantoul Wrong-Way Walmart. If you know the owner or if you ARE the owner, feel free (please!!) to leave a comment or contact me via email.  I’m chris [at] textimps [dot] com