Comic Jeanius

This week’s Post of the Week comes from Julie at A Little Pregnant.com A couple of months ago, Julie offered her readers the chance to win a pair of Joe’s Jeans. Readers were asked to submit their best story about pants in order to be entered in the giveaway. Julie then picked her favorites and shared them with us. She had a hard time choosing a winner and after you read the collection of pants mishaps, you’ll understand why.

Here’s a small taste of the hilarity you’ll encounter when you read the full post.

From the very friendly stellasmom:

Maybe my very first date, I was cluelessly naive but already very in love with chocolate. My date, with dreamy Andy Gibb feathered hair, took me to a movie and bought us two candy bars on the way in — I remember one was a Baby Ruth. We’re watching the movie and he hasn’t handed out the candy. I thought I’d give a hint — so I searched a bit and found what I thought was the candy bar in his right front pocket. I kept trying to get it out — my hints getting less and less subtle. My date thinking I was WONDERFUL! Finally, I stuck my hand in that right front pocket and realized it was no candy bar. In terror I snatched my hand away and of course the date had no clue why I was so hot and cold. Sigh. I wouldn’t return to 7th grade for anything.

Get your laugh on by reading the full post

Subscribe to A Little Pregnant’s Feed

The Cowboy Chronicles

Our featured author this week is Shonda Little from The Cowboy Chronicles Her blog can be found at MommaLittle.com

Shonda is a very creative writer who can go into great detail without boring you to death. Momma Little takes blogging to an entirely new level. Kudos to her for speaking her mind and entertaining us in the process.

One of Shonda’s most recent posts was entitled “Festivus For The Rest Of Us” In this post, she lists some of her grievances. Here’s an excerpt:

Kentucky Fried Chicken Man,
I’m not being a bitch for wanting my money back. The chicken was simply raw. I don’t eat raw chicken. That’s not because I’m a snob, it’s because I don’t like puking water through my nose for three days. I realize my ass could use the downsizing, but I want my money back nonetheless.

Another great example of her humorous writing comes from the post “Shine In 2009.” For this post, Shonda was kind enough to share some of her resolutions for next year.

Teach my children to never trust a fart, at least when they are ill. To add to the misery of Christmas, my children both came down with a stomach bug. But, since they had yet to learn this important life fable, poor Momma has had to wash many an extra pair of undies because of the wrath of stealthy sharts. If you don’t know what a shart is, just think really hard. It’s one of those two words put together jobs. Yeah…. that’s right.

Visit The Cowboy Chronicles |  Subscribe to The Cowboy Chronicle’s Feed

Every Picture Tells A Story

Anna tells us of the emoticons we all really need, like a can of Vaseline or pantyliners (regular for PC, thong for MAC). It was funny enough to make me laugh out loud. –Submitted by The Cowboy Chronicles

Read the full LMAO post at Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder

Subscribe to Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder’s Feed

Nobody’s Perfect, Except our Newborns

Excerpt from Nobody’s Perfect, Except our Newborns at Who Put Me In Charge of These People

I was filled with fears about being the perfect mother to this child. Like any mother, I feared her getting sick, I feared being in a car accident with her, I feared losing her somehow. I understood these fears but felt like they were somewhat out of my control. But my biggest fear of all was that I would harm her while actually trying to help her. Like, giving her medicine but mistakenly giving the wrong dosage. Or giving her food that caused her to choke, or have an allergic reaction. Or even insisting that I would breastfeed even after noticing that she wasn’t gaining weight….

…So, how did I get through it without losing my mind? Well I did it in the only way that I could…

Read Full Blog Post at Who Put Me In Charge of These People

Subscribe to Who Put Me In Charge of These People’s Feed

Still Alive

Excerpt from Still Alive at My Very Last Nerve

…Saturday, I still had some shopping to finish, so I loaded up the kids and headed out to the nightmare that is the mall on the Saturday before Christmas. What I thought would be a quick trip ended up being an all day marathon of one of my least favorite activities: Shopping with Kids. We ended up making a last stop at Burlington on the way home, where I discovered The World’s Biggest Asshole of a Sales Associate.

First off, she was slow. Reeeeeaaaalllllyyyyy sloooooooooow. I stood there contemplating changing lines, but I talked myself out of it, because you know how that goes – changes lines then that one is slow. So I watched (no exaggeration) two and three and six people go through the other lines while she was still checking out the ONE woman in front of me. Then, I had a gift in my cart for each kid that I managed to keep them from seeing. So when I got to checkout, I told the boy to take his sister and wait in the chairs a little way away so she wouldn’t see (he knew about hers but not his). As TWBASA was taking forever to take things off hangers and prep them for ringing up, she picked up the shirt I had for the boy. She was waving it around and holding it up, so…

Read Full Post at My Very Last Nerve

Subscribe to My Very Last Nerve’s Feed

Wiping Up Snot

Submitted by Anonymous

One of my favorite authors is Karly from Wiping Up Snot. Karly lets us peak into her life through her incredible writing and her pictures. Her blog is so entertaining that even the comments are worth reading. I’m submitting to you one of my favorite posts so you can see just how funny she is.

The post is called Mutha Of The Year

Last night we ate dinner pretty late and by the time we were finished it was dark out. Eeyore wanted to go back over to the neighbor kid’s house to play, so I told him to go ahead, but be careful in the dark.

He looked out the door and said it was so dark he couldn’t see ANYTHING. I walked to the door with him and told him that I would stand at the door and watch him while he walked across the street.

“Uh, Mom? How will that help?”

“Well, I dunno. Why are you worried about the dark? Are you scared?”

“…Yeah…”

“Well, then, it will help because I’ll be watching at the door and if I see anything scary chasing you then I can yell for you to run faster!”

At that point my husband intervened and got the boy a flashlight. I’ve never heard of a flashlight that shouted at you to run faster if it saw scary monsters though, so I think my plan was more helpful.

View Original Post | Visit Wiping Up Snot | Subscribe to Karly’s feed

Doctor, doctor!

Submitted by MommyCity

Monday was a holiday, which meant no preschool.

Ack!

I woke up very, very tired. The day stretched out before me, rainy and long.

How do I keep this 4-year old boy entertained with a minimum of effort?

We started off the day with some coloring, and then moved on to puzzles. But after an hour, CJ was ready for something else.

I was ready to lie down.

And then genius struck.

“I know! Let’s play doctor! I’ll lie on the bed, and you can take care of me.”

I am BRILLIANT.

CJ’s eyes lit up at my excellent idea. I snuggled into my cozy bed, while he ran to his room to pull out his doctor box.

Read the rest of the post at Absolutely Bananas

Subscribe to Absolutely Bananas’ Feed

Because It Had To Go Down This Way

Today I had the pleasure of going to the DMV to get that long lost driver’s license replaced. Good times.

I got there, stood in the longest line seen by mankind since food rationing and patiently awaited my turn in front of a woman who was speaking on her cell phone VERY LOUDLY. She was trying to explain where she was and why she was there. Sample: “I AM AT THE DMV GETTING A NEW DRIVERS LICENSE BECAUSE MINE EXPIRED.” Pause. “AT THE DMV.” Pause. “TO GET MY DRIVERS LICENSE.” Pause. “BECAUSE I NEED A NEW ONE.” I am basically a nice person (despite what you may think) so I assumed she was speaking via a bad connection or to someone who was hearing impaired. I was wrong. “WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT PARTY SATURDAY? I WAS DRUNK OFF MY ASS!!!” Okay, that theory is out the window…she was just a loud talker, and she was less than a foot from my ear. And it hurt my head….a lot. Also? She smelled like she had left that party only moments before, so I was gagging as well.

Read full blog post at The Stilleto Mom.com

Subscribe to The Stilleto Mom’s feed

Pick Up Lines That Just Don’t Work

Today, I’ve decided to pass along some friendly advice to my single male friends. I’m an old married guy, but I remember what works and what doesn’t out there. And, trust me, the following lines simply do not work.

Repeat, do not employ these lines if you want to have any hope of picking up that girl (or guy; doesn’t matter to me).

In no particular order, here we go:

1. My crotch fungus is practically gone!

Read full post at Supercynic’s Weblog

Subscribe to Supercynic’s Weblog

One Dollar Diet Project

Submitted by Dances with Pit Bulls aka Crazy Rebecca

I found One Dollar Diet Project after I watched a video about it on the Yahoo homepage. It chronicles the experiment of two high school teachers living on $1 worth of food or less (each) a day. This intrigued me, having been in “buy food or pay rent” situations before. While I hope not be in that situation ever again I enjoyed reading about their trials and tribulations and applaud their determination to stick to their budget and it opened my eyes to the plight of millions (maybe billions) of people in the world…do I
really need that Super Sized Whopper Combo? I think not.

Visit One Dollar Diet Project

Next Page »